we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
