I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Rumble strips road head = magical
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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