I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
