I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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