it glows. i had to have it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
