I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
