Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
