She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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