I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
