Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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