You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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