I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
