I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
someone get that fucking seahorse.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
