At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize