at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
