how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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