8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
