This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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