I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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