I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
