Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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