and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
