She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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