May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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