You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
