I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
