flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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