And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
