I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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