Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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