Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
