It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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