Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
