I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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