WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
