I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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