seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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