happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I love you. Go after that dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
