I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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