yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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