just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
