I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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