What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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