oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
