Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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