at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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