i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
