At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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