i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
