Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize