3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
