she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
