There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
