If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
