The best revenge is premature balding
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
