Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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