How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
3 2 1 whiskey
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
