It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
