I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
