I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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