i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
