yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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