what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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