I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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