if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
